Monday, October 29, 2007

YaYa again!

OK, I know I can't really complain. I had to know when I adopted two girls who were only 15 years younger than me that I would most probably be a young grandmother. And I am. I have one grandson (that I know of) and now I have another on the way. I'm not even 40.

But it isn't even really about me. I have issues. When Kneesaa was 18, she met this guy on the cruise down town, and within 3 weeks they were engaged. She still went off to college, but they continued to have this weird sort of dysfunctional relationship. Not to mention that I'm pretty positive that he's gay. Which, whatever, but own it, you know? Quit trying to pretend you're not! Anyway, 7 months after moving her up north to go to college she was dropping out and moving back down here, to get married, ON HER BIRTHDAY! He, of course, arranged all the wedding details and insisted on having the courthouse nuptials on that day. I ripped him a new one because I didn't want her to spend the rest of her life either having to put her birthday second to an anniversary, or, if things didn't work out, having to remember this mistake on her day.

But who am I anyway? So there they are, married, fighting constantly, she's being abused (shhh, she doesn't think I know this), and eventually they have a baby. This is supposed to make their marriage worse. It, obviously, doesn't. All it does is bring a sickly baby into a horrible situation. And she insists on reminding me often that I am Ya Ya, but I hardly ever get to see my grandson.

Well, before my grandson is even 8 months old, she's let her gay husband. She's shacked up with her childhood-best-friend's brother, and letting the abuser run the divorce the same way he ran the wedding. Poorly. Not that I was allowed to offer any kind of advice or support through the whole thing. So it's done, they are divorced right about the time my grandson turns a year old. We have a party for the baby and he has a great time. I am happy she's out of that relationship, and am continuing to be supportive of her decisions no matter how much they go against my own idea of healthy living. I welcome the new guy into the family, and chat it up with his mom and Kneesaa's best friend and her children. We all had a good time, and my grandson had a good birthday!

Two or three weeks later, she tells us she's pregnant. God help her. And if she'd stop and take a look, she'd see that we are wiling to be there for her, support her, and love her, but she's so afraid of what she's doing with her life, she won't even call. Her phone number changes monthly, so I can't get a hold her. I just want to love her, no matter what choices she's making for herself. I've accepted that I'm a young Ya Ya...now let me be one!!!!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wonderful writing. =) Fluid, thourough, and wonderful. You should write a book.

Anonymous said...

Wow I couldn't even begin to imagine what you are going through... and your daughter.

You Aren't Forgotten