Did I Write That?

Have you ever looked back at things you wrote in the past...like years ago? Maybe you run across something you don't even remember writing? Sometimes I'll find something I wrote in high school, or when I first started college in the late 80's (ugh!) and think, who wrote this, did I? I think I was a brilliant writer when I was younger. Now when I write I feel like it's ordinary and dull. I took an advanced fiction writing course as I was finishing my degree this decade, and hadn't really written in so long...it was not like riding a bike! I felt rusty. My instructor, a published fiction writer, was good to me though. The first thing he asked in a private conference after reading my first attempt at a new story was, "How long has it been since you wrote anything? I can tell you're a writer." It made me feel good. Like I still might have it. But when I try to write now, all the things every fiction writing instructor has said to me personally or in a class rattles around in my brain, and I feel I try too hard now. I think I was much more brilliant when I didn't know anything about writing, and it was just creative flow!

Anyway, what brought this on is that I'm updating my adoption home study as I get ready to adopt my 3 year old, and was just given a copy of my original home study from 2002. For those who don't know, when you do a home study, one of the things you have to do is write a biography. It's supposed to be around 2-4 pages. Mine was 10. I don't know where I stored it after I sent in a copy, so have not seen it since I wrote it. I do remember the social worker telling me she could see I was definitely a writer, and I didn't know if that was a good comment or irritated because she had to read the whole thing. Apparently, in the final home study, they take bits of what you wrote, or maybe with most people they use the whole thing and mine was just too long, and insert it in their report. So I still don't have the whole thing that I wrote, but I found this quote:

I am a mix of Cherokee, Irish, English, French and Norwegian. I'm simply an American. I'm single and I don't kiss on the first date! This sounds like a personal ad. I was a quiet child, never in trouble, got good grades, and have always been shy. I have strong opinions about human rights, but am not over zealous about political correctness. I have always been a writer of short stories and poems, but also some features and technical writing. I taught myself to read when I was four years old and have been an avid reader ever since.

OK, so it's not going to win a Pulitzer, but it feels fresh, and has a hint of wit. I miss that about my writing. Am I the only one who ever feels this way?